Y'all Can Go Fuck Y'all Selves

2003-07-17T04:15:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that people actually read this shit sometimes. Awesome.
been awhile, no computer, fuck that shit, here goes...

So ive been thinking about this shit for awhile. I've been exercising my philosophical mind. I'm sick of the the bullshit, the arguments, the idiots on both sides, the distorted values, the twisted logic, the television debates and the moderators who throw fuel on the fire by confusing the issue more just to keep the conversation alive untill the next commercial break. There are a few issues these days that are unnecessarily deemed "important", or "controversial" by the media. Fuck that shit. I've got the solution. I'm laying it down in print for the first time. The ideas are rough, the arguments skecthy, the grammar is weak, but this is the first step. Here it is. My first crappy attempt at freelance philosophy. Please let me know what you think: paulbednarz55@hotmail.com

Issue #1: ABORTION
What the fuck is the problem here. There are two sides.
The pro-life'ers are all about the life of the baby. "pro-life" is a great name because it makes the other side "anti-life" or pro death". That pretty much wins the argument right there. But then the other side comes back with "pro-choice". Shit. Good point. Being a liberal society this country is based on a free pursuit of happiness and choice of values. But you know all this crap already.
Bascially some people want to protect the life of the baby, some the life of the mother. The law works well for single entities, but it gets tough when you realize the mother and baby are one and two at the same time. (1=2 we hope that you choke, thanks thom, where would we be without you). The problem with the debate is that everyone is trying to draw the line somewhere between the two. By doing so, both sides are admitting that they are okay with fucking over one side of the relationship for the other.
Technically, "pro-life" and "pro-choice" are both pro good things, and therefore both stances are right. SO STOP ARGUING. TAKE THE EMBRYO OUT OF THE FUCKING WOMB AND PUT IT SOMEWHERE NICE. Mother gets choice. Baby gets life. End of story. No problem. Abortions for none. Transplants for some. Miniature American flags for others.
Aight, start sending in objections and let this debate come alive. This is how this shit starts. I'll post good responses on this site on till i get off my ass and make a real message board or some shit.

Here are some objections i have considered:
Is that even scientifically possible?
Shut the fuck up. You know we can do that shit. We can put dippin dots in soda, we can take a fucking fertilized embryo out of a unexpected womb and put it in a woman who wants a baby or freeze it for later.

Where will the baby's go?
There will always be would be mothers who cant get fertilized. If not, then force some of those pro-life chicks to take 'em in. They are so vocal about the right of the embryo to live a full life, im sure they wont mind. The embryo's can always be frozen and saved. Technically thats not death. Whatever argument you have against abortion probably wont hold against the freeze plan. (for example, abortion is murder, well then freezing isnt. or better, the embryo has a right to life, that doesnt mean the embryo has a right to life this century) Plus, theres always test tubes.

Im so pro-life that i believe it is immoral to remove the embryo from the womb.
What. So youre anti-choice. So sex means enslavement through procreation. Well you know what, even if it turns out the bible did say that, that doesnt mean the government could make a law about it.

Im so pro-choice that i believe the mother should have the choice to terminate the embryo, not merely transplant it.
Now you're anti-life. Im gonna trust my gut on this one and say you're wrong.

Alright. So i hope you see the point im trying to make. Both sides are right, which is why, when they are argue, they seem so wrong and yet so compelling at the same time. Im just trying to offer a compromise by taking whats right from both sides and making the next step. As i look back i regret the casual swearing and familiar tone. I also think my arguements about the practical objections are kinda weak, thats why i need feedback. I have some more thoughts about the way they ideas relate the philosophical with the political. I especially like this compromise because it makes no metaphysical or spiritual claim. It simply fully secures the right of both mother and child. I didn't bother to make my arguements too convincing because i feel the transplant compromise speaks for itself. Thats why feedback is so important. I seriously think thats the end of the story. Or at least the start of the end of the debate. Maybe someone already propased this and was already shot down. Maybe im crazy. Let me know.

Paul Bednarz, July 17, 2003.

2003-06-05T10:53:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO JUMP IN THE MOTHER FUCKIN OCEAN.
fuck this city shit
i dont care about the "luxuires"
i dont care about the refrigerator that keeps my blue colored sport drink cold
i dont care about the indoor plumbing that allows me to take a shower in the privacy of my bathroom
i dont care about the computer hooked up to the surround sound system thats blasting music right now
these are not pure luxiuries
these things are replacements for our lack of freedom
our lack of freedom to jump in the mother fucking ocean
i am hung over
i feel like shit
but i dont need the shower and the music and the powerade and all that other bullshit
i just need to jump in the mother fucking ocean
and dont give me some bullshit about how its a sunny day outside and i should be happy about it or smile about or look on the bright side
i do look on the mother fuckin bright side
the truth is this is one sunny day
and i am miles away from the mother fuckin ocean
i cant live like this
you can take it all away
if i could live next to the mother fuckin ocean

and i dont need all this blog shit
i dont need the aim
the cell phones
the amazing advances in communication
you all know where you can find me
ill be at the mother fuckin beach
and if you dont want to look for me
theres no point in me calling you

and i dont need the car
the 25 cent buffalo wings
i dont need the gasoline
or the video games
i just need to be by the mother fucking ocean

thats something to consider there in the future
am i really gonna make it home tonight
im losing it already
theres a paper due on monday
this is gonna be weird
by weird i mean i dont really know what the fuck is gonna happen and i suck at words
this was the worst blog ever
3 weeks and this is all i have to say
well fuck you assholes
im not fuckin strongbad
they cant all be gems
where the fuck are my cd's
this is stupid

2003-05-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

I am so on gabes computer right now, and theres nothing he can do about it.

The apartment seems so empty now, without dave. Its weird. It kinda sucks. The wall looks so empty without that banner. If you don't know what banner im talking about, shame on you. But right now that banner and dave are on their way to Corning New York and then to europe (well just dave) and then they will settle down in Michigan. We all saw it coming, it just sucks that its here. My life will be a little less crazy, a little less cool, a little less interesting. Goodbye's suck, especially when good people who have been good friends are the ones saying them.

Anyway, this is not a eulogy. Good luck.

I took my last final yesterday. Freedom. The whole world is out there and thats awesome. Monday I move out. The funny thing is, I have nowhere to move. I stuffin my shit in gupta's basement, thank you gupta, and then I be sleeping on couches. There is talk of a house on the beach. That would be hella sweet. Hella fuckin sweet.

I have been betrayed by the ladies at rofo.
A breakfast sandwitch needs to be heated up.
Good dam.
Fuck CVP.
No problem
But now Rofo, it's starting to seem like all signs are pointing out of baltimore.
But then again, 7-11 is open 24 hours a day.
Some one said there will be strippers tonight, that is awesome.
Grogan is a questionable Ogan, but hes still cool.
I thought I had more to say.
to bad

2003-05-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

no no no gabe, its cool
the pirate joke is awesome, and it needs to be told, the people need to hear it.
i just thought it was cool that i heard that joke from the d-plan and i thought i told everyone i knew but you ended up getting it from a different source. the point is, everyone needs the hilarity from any source they can.
So, for the record, gabe played an integral part in the Tea Leoni hyku.
(so did Jurassic Park 3)
original content is hard to find and sometimes hard to trace. but true hilarity must be spread, Mitch Hedberg, pirate jokes, dirty hiku's, ridiculous web sites and news story's, these are some of the best things in life, and people need to share them without worry about called a plagarist, or being called unoriginal.
Don't worry if everyone at the bar knows the punchline to the joke, if one person doesn't, it was all worthwhile. Everytime a good joke is told, it grows a little, a new aspect comes to life. Every new interpretation adds to it.
I have quoted Mitch a lot, maybe too much, but I can over look all those times when my friends have said "Alright, enough all ready, your not Mitch", i can over look all those times for that one person who hears the frozen banana joke and says "What's that." That's what makes it all worth while. Keep telling jokes people, its the only chance we have to make this world better. Try to come up with original material, but if you feel strongly about another's words, don't feel bad about spreading them, and try to give credit where credit is due.
The Simpsons did it! But everything they did was taken from somewhere else.
In some ways, our selection of quotes and jokes defines us as people. We act as popcultural filters, chosing which aspect of other peoples ideas best fit into our own world views. So fuckin PoMo.
If I was on ritalin and had the time I would try to really express my point clearly and try to argue for it.

Aight that being said, here are some links that i think are awesome:
This is a link I got from fark to a blog written by a guy in Iraq
This is pretty old and you've all probably seen it (I know Gabe has) but anyways its some guy commenting on some art work done by little kids.

yeah so i should be studying

2003-05-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

oh this is beautiful...

Paul-
I have been notified by Michael Williams, the instructor of Theory of Knowledge
(150.459) that you are currently earning an 'F' in this course. He adds that he
has "not received any work" from you.
I suggest that you talk with the instructor and with your faculty adviser to
assess the impact of this grade on your plans to graduate.

Pam Carey
Senior Academic Adviser
Whiting School of Engineering

Dear Pam

HAHAHAHAHAH What the fuck. AM i supposed to be concerned. Am i worried. It's like your dentist calls you up and says "I HAVE VERY BAD NEWS... you have to get a root canal blah blah blah procedure blah blah my job is important!"
Well guess what MR Dentist man I HAVE CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!
listen PAM, who the fuck are you, I dont know you
why do I care about some dumb class that I dont need to graduate
I need a W bitch not an S
a W!!!!!
you really got your ear to the ground bitch
youre on the ball
where the fuck were you last week when I WASNT GONNA FUCKING GRADUATE MISS SENIOR ADVISOR
well I worked all my shit out
Professor said I will fail this class, I tried, now I dont care
I worked my ass off for another class that really matters, get me the W and get outta here
now I am gonna study my ass off for a final for a class in my major
so
if you have something useful to say
come talk to me
otherwise
don't fuckin bother me with this bullshit
i have video games to play
fuck you
-paul

2003-05-04T22:16:00.000-07:00

so do you believe in god?

hell's yeah sure do

do you believe in a vengeful god, or a merciful god? argue your claim and cite exaples.

i believe that god has a six inch purple mohawk and that he plays the bass for a funk band, the holy ghoust plays drums and jesus plays the harmonica. sometimes lucifer will sit in on a track with his sax

the bass, huh, how many strings?

4, up-right, acoustic

so who plays the guitar?

why do think the good die so young?

alright enough, ive gotta get back to work

we need more aderol

ive got concerta, its so much better

queue the mild sense of euphoria

2003-05-04T14:45:00.000-07:00

best simpsons quote ever:

My Homer is not a communist. He may be a Liar, a Pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

2003-05-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

fuck blogger man
i just lost a good long post and have lost the will to blog
this weekend was cool too
fuck it
Loyola Sucks
Drinking in tents is awesome
Whatever you do, do not hit on townies
Zelda kicks ass
Team Action Jackson 2 is the shit
Ive got a pocket full of Now and Laters
Pick up lines that work in Jamacia absolutely do not work in Baltimore
Jouquine is cool, but I think Rivers would have been cooler
1940 Johns Hokpins Banners are cool
Loyola Still Sucks
If it were up to me the 2003 banner would say "2003 Smoke if you gottem'"
yesterday Gabe put his arm in mustard and got mustard all over his sleeve and then he moved his arm across his chest to look at the mustard on his arm but he was holding a beer in that arm so as he was looking at the mustard he was pouring beer all over his other arm. IT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME
If Alex Chinn's door is locked in the day time and there are noises coming from in there, its probably a good sign that you should just stay away
Old Beta's are cool, especially when they are wearin sunglasses at night and camoflage jacket and are telling you about how they like to tell people that they are in the witness protection program, and remember, whenever ever a Beta from the 60's tells a story, you have to say "Thats because of all the acid you were doing right?"
Girls have amazing timing, when you have been drinking all day and you say something like "I am sooo outta of it, I can't think straight" bam thats when your exgirlfriend will appear out of nowhere and say something like "Can we talk?" and then we won't see you for the rest of the night
If you are ever at a party and a celebrity walks in don't lose your cool. Drink a lot, and then when everyone is wasted go up to him and ask "You're in the movie business right?" and then do the worst Robert Dinero impession you can muster
Formal's are pretty cool
do you know who my date for the formal is tonight.
J. S. Mill
I can't wait
me, J. S. Mill, the theotetical notion of positive freedom, 7 pages, and whatever drugs it takes to get through the night
but then I'll be one step closer to getting my blank piece of paper.
and monday night is Justin's birthday, Happy Birthday asshole you are fucking dead, and its also the second stop on the Dave Scott Sunshine Farewell Tour.

remember kids
a vote for Dave Scott is a vote for some black guy in Georgia

2003-05-01T09:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, I take it back. Ana Diaz is the greatest TA ever and she knows a shit load about philosophy. She is fucking awesome. I just spent the last 2 hours with her talking about this test I have to take tomorrow on Locke and Rousseau. I would not have been able to pass if it didn't go to her office hours and talk to her. So once again, I have learned a valuable lesson way after it is any use to me: go talk to philosophy TA's before writing a paper, they know what is up. Thats great that I know that now. But whatever. I f i do well on this test and write a good paper for Monday, I will get my writing credit and I will graduate in May. If not, I will have to take another course over the summer. Either way, I can't wait to get this shit over with. I had a pretty shitty dream last night and I feel sick today, but I'll live through it.

2003-04-29T22:55:00.000-07:00

aight aight
I take it back
i don't hate you
i fucking wasted
and i was rudly awoken

gabe
thanks for the uter
i loves you
just stop the negativity
haircuts need to be made fun of, fair enough
but smash brothers is good
you dissed prime, that got you nowhere
dont hate on zelda
and please please dont hate on bmore life future or pkp
i love logan its true
but i dont like the hair eerywhere
its cool
i shed too
but dont hate on zelda
please
dont hate on zelda

i am drunk
and i am drinkin a MD 20/20
this is great
finally this blog gets interesting
before it was just some kid pretending he was cool
reliving stupid drunk stories
NOW
its real
the kid has finally relized that his behavior has fucked himself over
and you guys get to watch the rapid fall from grace
you were are there when the warning signs of addiction and violent tendencies and negative behavior first reared their ugly heads
you were all yelled at
or punched
or whatever the fuck
you all know

please dont tell any person of authority (or especially my parents or substance abuse problem having family) about this web site
because that would mean I would have to face the very problems I am running away from
(all good, some things will remain sacred, props)

"asshole" isn't the right word, but its the first that comes to mind
"spoiled" isn't the right word, but its the first that comes to mind
"honest" isn't the right word, but its the first that comes to mind

i am gonna read this paper I wrote on Machiavelli to myself
and i am gonna say what I wanna say when I say it on this blog
this might be cool
this might not

go...

fuck I hate it already
the first line is retarted
god damn it

oh wait never mind
i write long sentences
wait, my sober writing confuses my drunk self

hmm descision:
capitalize concepts like "Prince" and "State" or not?
yes, its more pretensious, and thats good for philosophy

"In addition" is such a gay way to start a sentence
back in the day, Locke would just be like
blah blah blah; And blah blah; And blah blah"
it was so much cooler
semicolons are sweat

passive sentences are contained in my paper
(thats fucking PoMo)

ooooo
that was on the mark

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU MY SHIT MAKES SO MCUH FUCKING SENSE I KNOW
FUCk
you ass
to think that just because somebody does not hand in papers on time, that that person is incapable of reasonable and inovative thought
or even worse, even if you believe it were possible, that it is some how not worth while because of some bullshit academic rule that only papers written before a certain date are worth a grade
i have always been of a certain discipliong3e ewsrtpiuashmfga
"SHIT ON TIME IS NOT BETTER THAN A REAL EFFORT HANDED IN LATE"
but remember kids
that that doctrine gets you nowhere
the point is
drop out of school
get a bartender/waiter/waitress/pay the fucking monkey job
and spend the rest of your time really persuing your interests,
whether they are philosophy, physics, medicine, history, what the fuck ever
oh shit
did i mention
MUSIC
and the NEW INTERACTIVE ART
nevermind
i wont say it becuase the narrow minded will run away

okay

oh that was awesome
I had this run on sentence which would be tottally acepted in Machiavelli's time
its so confusing

Run on sentences are very important for philosophy. As the reader processes the ideas, he/she naturally looks for a period, but since there is none, he/she keeps having to continue the train of thought and speech in her/his head; so when they actually reach the end of the sentence, they are sooooo fucking confused about what was just said, that they just accept the ideas that were being argued for.

at this point in the paper, I hope the TA thinks what I think:
I hope the TA in reading my paper thinks this:
"I am too fucking wasted to read philosophy, I am gonna go drink and play video games"

2003-04-29T22:03:00.000-07:00

IU KNOW WHO READS THIS SHIT
none of you are invited to my intervention
i want you all to GO FUCK YALL SELVES
fuck you
yall done more harm than good
FUCK You
FUck you
my hands arent bleeding
fuck you

2003-04-29T16:27:00.000-07:00

Who fucked up, I fucked up.
So what was the pool at. Who had Paul killing himself in his last semester, you lose. Who had Paul graduating, YOU LOSE. Who had Paul failling out of school, well you lose too. Who had Paul failing at least one class, well you get something. Who had Paul failing a writing intensive class and having to make one up over the summer. If you did, you won!!! Collect your money.
Fuck it. I will be failing two classes this semester, why becuase i havent written the papers. Fine, I fucked up I can deal with it. I am a spoiled upper middle class white male who parents paid for a quality education and supply a strong financial backing who pissed it away. Fair enough. But since this is my blog and this is my piece I am gonna give it my best effort to justify my bullshit, fully aware that while I sit here and moan about how I am failing because of my own lack of effort, people are dying from starvation and bullet wounds half way around the world, and fuck that, people are dying and starving 5 or 6 blocks from my shit ass apartment which is only shit ass because I am to god damn lazy to get off my ass and clean it up.
Senior Semester. You are supposed to take it easy. You are suppsosed to take bullshit courses and just get the fuck out. I started with 16 credits. All i needed was 12. All I needed was two computer science courses and one writing course. I signed up for Quantum Mechanics, one of the hardest undergraduate physics courses offered. The best part was the it was at 8:30 in the god damn mourning. I took the first half last semester and got a B+, what up. I took the hardest Computer Science class out there, Modern Complexity Theory, the one with the average of 8 out of 100. I took Rendering Techniques, fuck it every class is hard. I took Theory of Knowledge, a 400 level philosophy course becuase I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take an epistemology class with a professor who is knee deep in the field. And as my writing class, I took Political Philosophy, not IFP or Expository writing bullshit. I signed up for these classes because I had genuine interest in the subjects, becuase this was the last opportunity I would have to really learn about these topics. What I learned this semester was that you can't do it all. The music didn't take away from school, school took away from the music. (of course music should include drinking a PJ's during the week and playing video games) Fuck it. I had to eventually drop Quantum. whatever.
whatever this is going nowhere.
all I want to say is that I actaully learned shit in these classes. I went and did the readings. i just didn't write the papers. It's not like I didn't try. After a week goes by there is a new assignment to do. It all starts piling up and you start to drown. But I was never drowning. I was just holding my breath seeing how long I could stay under water. Fuck i was so ready to swim up to the surface at any point. I am so down to just go right these papers right now. I am just pissed that the professor drove the boat away. That the fucking life gaurd is too fucking lazy to grade my shit. (Its a gay metaphor but I hope you get the point) FUCK this is why I am pissed. I am ready to do the work but no one has any "Confidence" in me. What the fuck is that. Shit.
You have two reasons to not accept my papers.
1) it is inconvient to the TA's to make them grade my shit now (even though the total work that they would have to do over the course of the semester is the same)
2) it is not fair to the students who handed shit in on time (even though they don't have to deal with the undesirable stress of writng 6 papers in one week, finals week no less)
well actually
3) a writing intensive course is supposed to improve your writing, that can only be done with some sort of feedback to your writing, which i obviously would not get (even though I don't need it, oh shit what up, nevemind this blog shows i could use it, in fact we all could use more feedback for everything, but not from dumb cunt bitch TA that doesn't even know when I am in section or answer my emails)
Basically fuck it. If these guys don't want ot give me a chance, I'm not gonna go crawling on my hands and fucking knees just to write more bullshit and have them tear it apart just for some fucking C- for some bullshit diploma. One more summer class. One more month. Fuck it. Fuck it. I wanted to take Expository Writing in the first place. I learned what i learned. I did the readings and attended lectures. I dont need a fucking letter to tell me what I know or what I dont. I do need a piece of paper that says I played the fucking university game for 4 years, and thats exactely what I am gonna get. Sure, I guess I'll talk to one professor tommorow. But it will be half assed. After that I am callind my parents and registaring for summer classes.
If anyone has a better idea or some inspiring words of wisdom, let me know soon, becuase I am gonna buy a bottle, start drinking escape in the world of zelda for a few weeks. Then I am gonna walk down wherever it is I have to walk and pick up my blank piece of paper. Then, on June 27, when I pass the last fucking class, I am gonna get that god damn piece of paper that says I ate this bullshit for 4 years.

And then I will walk up the steps of Gilman, walk through those doors, pull down my pants, and piss on that mother fucking seal.

hopkins what.

2003-04-27T22:57:00.000-07:00

I AM SO FUCKING BORED
i am procrastinating
and i like using gabe's computer to piss him off

check out these awesome links

I am a high school basketball coach
I am a doctor that works in rehab (HaHa)
I am playtester (It's funny cause its true)
Who the fuck names their kid Jan-paul
I was born in 1785
I teach sixth grade computer bullshit
I am a sexy sexy beast
I wonder if Carol Mattice is hot?
I am from Texas

Kevin Becker went to Johns Hopkins and is now a doctor

I would so vote for this guy

i thinks its cool that in a google search for 'Paul Bednarz',
the real Paul Bednarz gets the most hits
or maybe thats really gay
either way
i still have a final i should be studying for
does anyone have any ritalin

2003-04-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

who wants a moustache ride

my tolerance went up this weekend
i think thats pretty cool
this weekend was the beer garden
if you don't know, its on the presidents lawn
student groups get kegs
and sell beer
its in the afternoon
so did i go there and get mad shitty with the hockey team and the new brothers
no
i was too cool
i sleep through the beer garden every day
i woke up at 6 on friday and saturday and at 4 today
awesome
dave got kicked out of a show for moshing
i started it
i couldnt help my self
i was wasted, there was music, and there was space
i knocked a beer out of this girls hand
i left
we went to an asian bar
then we went to some house party
i broke a bottle over my head
i am blowing my horn
sure
but im trying to take it to another level
im just letting you know
jim
and hunter
that im trying

my friend wrote a hiku
i think i already posted it, but here it is again:

Brittany Spears is dead
Chivalry is on the rise
Ha Ha just kidding

i wrote this one:
Tea Leoni
I would wedge my dick in that
wedge wedge wedg, wedge wedge

i have a final tomorrow

2003-04-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Paul,

To the best of my knowledge, you have not turned in either of the
first two papers in my course. It is, in fact, according to the policy of
the course, too late to turn in those papers. Since they constitute 40% of
the final grade, and since you also have not attended the section
regularly, I do not see any way for you to pass the course.

Sincerely,

Dean Moyar

Dear Cock Suck Ass Hat Moyar

Fuck You! You stupid piece of shit bullshit mother cunt professor faggot. Fuck that shit. "according to the policy of the course, too late to turn in those papers" FUCK YOU, thats your policy not mine you dumb shit. NO YOURe FAILING MY CLASS FOR BEING A TOTAL AND COMPLETE FUCK HEAD. MY POLICY IS TO DRINK AS MUCH AS I WANT AND TO PLAY MUSIC AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND TO NOT GIVE A FUCK AND WRITE PAPERS ON WHAT I FEEL LIKE WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT AND HAND THEM IN WHENEVER I WANT YOU GET ON YOUR FUCKING KNEES YOU FAGGOT PIECE OF SHIT KNOW NOTHING PROFESSOR BECAUSE YOU ARE GONNA TAKE MY FUCKING PAPERS AND YOU ARE GONNA GRADE THEM AND YOU AE GONNA GIVE ME A C- IN THE CLASS AND IM GONNA FUCKING GRADUATE AND THEN IM PISS ALL OVER THAT STUPID SEAL IN GILMAN AND SHIT ALL OVER YOUR OFFICE YOU DUMB ASS FUCK YOU AND FUCK JOHNS HOPKINS I HAVE WORKED TO FUCKING HARD AT THIS SCHOOL AND WASTED TO MANY NIGHTS AND STRESSED WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH AND DEVELOPED WAY TO MANY SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEMS AND ACID REFLUX AND OTHER BULLSHIT JUST TO DEAL WITH THIS DUMBASS FUCKING PRETENSIOUS ASS IMPERSONL HOPKINS SUCK ASS UNIVERSITY SO FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU I DONT GIVE A SHIT FUCK IT

Sincerly,
Paul "suck my balls" Bednarz

p.s. What the fuck, you think you are doing me some kind of favor for telling me now. First of all, you have no official policy for late papers. I have handed so many papers late since ive gotta here. No professor has ever been as much of a dick as you. Maybe I would have gone to section if that dumb cunt TA knew what the fuck she was talking about or could make section the least bit interesting. I fucking wrote two response papers, and she doesnt even acknowledge me. I even sent her an email saying that i havent writen the paper, can i hand it in late, i get no response. I tried fuck you. I stayed up all night last night writing one of your stupid papers. THANKS FOR SHIT DICK

2003-04-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

its been to fucking long hasn't it.
What's up everybody.
Hows life.
Great.
I'm hung over, thats cool i guess.

What have I been doing.
Same old shit. Drinking a lot.
Bullshitting work.

People think I'm not gonna graduate. Say I spend to much time at Pj's not at the library. Week before srpring break I had a mid term. Cramed all my studying in the night before, got no sleep. Modern Complexity Theory. Hard shit. Much harder than Ancient Simplicity Theory (is thing on, ouch though crowd). I got my grade back the other day. The test was out of 100 points. 100 hundred points!!! you know what I fucking got......

8

8

I got an 8 out of 100. Thats FUCKED UP.

But you wanna here the best part.
THE AVERAGE WAS 3. Mother fuckers
I got an A after the curve.
Dumbass comp sci motherfuckers dont know theory.
And yall underestimate me. Fuck what ya heard.

this one is for Jim.
I had some fucked up dreams last night. I was wrestling with Dan Frank in the chapter room. Aight thats not too cool.
But then I ended up in some forgien country. And my job was working at this shark tank toursit attraction. There was a huuuuge shark, the people would get in these submarines to go down and get a glimpse. I was working there, i answered an ad in the city paper lookin for a deck hand, (the ad was in the real world about a week ago) So me and a few other kids got these smaller individual submarines and we had to go down and clean the tank out and shit. It was weird cause I never actually saw the shark in my dream, I just heard other people talk about it and heard myself talk about it, but my dreaming third person view never saw the shark. The point of the dream, I think, lies somewhere in the difference between being in the big safe submarine, or the small submarine. You know, the small one is more dangerous and there is more responsiblity, but its so much cooler. You have freedom. You can do things you just can't do in the big sub lookin out a small window with a bunch of stupid people taking pictures and foggin up the windows. But then agian, things can happen to you outside the sub. I don't remember if anyone got hurt by the shark or if the fear of attack manifested itself visually in my dream. I think only the latter.
So then me and my buddy are walking around the mall, and it was cool because at every store, the person who worked there was dressed in some way related to the products they were selling. But we get to this one section where theres all these fountains and its all ancient, not ancient, just old, you know. AHHH
My mom always says she likes Europe because all the buildings had history. Simple, everyday buildings had been around for centuries. And thats just the way it was.
There is no backspace button in this blog
I rarely drive steam boats dad
theres alot about me that you dont know
So im sitting in this intersection, this square i guess, with these fountains and these people and these colors and this over whelming feeling comes over me.
And its just like, I want to live here. Where ever this is, this is what I want.

now that I think about it.
now that I really thing about where i was.
i know what i was looking at
its kinda sad really
i was actually in Hyrule Castle in Ocarina of Time
alright not entirely
but it was
and all the emotions and visual stimulation that the room in the video game is supposed to produce, I felt extra magnified
(no backspace, as stupid as that word is)
so like the caslte in the game is supposed to bring to mind the idea of castle in the real world, (even though ive never been in a castle) and all the ideas of caslte that i have are brought about. Basically in any kind of art the artist can only make suggestions, you have to do all the real emotional work. And in my dream, the suggestions made by the game (mostly where everything was) were being accepted by me, and my brain was doing extra work to make the experience more real for me.

video games are the future of art

thats all ill leave you with now
ill talk about drugs and more video games next time
whenever that is
5000G
peace
we outta here

Phi Psi 500 and im not there yet
grogans gonna be pissed

2003-03-25T16:56:00.000-08:00

Fuck what ya heard, i'm back in the states.
Apologies are in order to all my loyal readers for not posting in such a long time. When I say loyal readers, I of course mean... just Gabe.
A week ago I posted a long blog about Jamaica, but something in the internet world went wrong and it suffered the same fate as everyone's else's posts did that same day.
So maybe one day I tell you about Jamaica, maybe not, not today anyway.
This has been a long week for me. I had so much catching up to do and so much future planning. I dediced to drink all week instead. But I'm not gonna sit here and talk about regrets. It's not my fault PJ's has such good deals on Monday nights and is so close to the library. It's not my fault that the rule for the Beer-bong at the house is two beers or more. And it's not my fault if all my shots go in and I never get the chance to leave the table. And it's definitely not my fault that friends I haven't seen in months come into town on a Sunday to get shitty. So you see kids, theres a lesson here. Don't choose your nights, let your nights choose you. But this week I mean it. I'm gonna get on top of my shit and get a job.

or start playing zelda
yeah definitely one of the two
clean my room, write late papers, finish late programs, fill out graduation papers, get a job and an apartment,
or play zelda
one of the two

I gotta say though, last year at around this time, I was just as backed up. I had no future, no plan, way behind in work, I was just killing time. At least this year i'm haivng fun.
Last year I would say "I'm gonna get shit done tonight, I'm not going out." and then do nothing.
This year I say "Fuck this shit im going to get drunk and have a good time and find my buddies and do dumb shit!" and then I do just that.
I don't know whats worse. Being a terrible person, and feeling bad about it, but really not doing anything about it, in fact really doing nothing at all. Or being a terrbile person, knowing your a terrible person, not giving a fuck that your a terrible person, and having a good time.
All the first person has that the second person doesn't is guilt. Or maybe they both have guilt. But they deal with it different ways. The second person has action. Last year when I tryed to do something good, it would just usually fail, or think that I failed. So I have all the same problems but they are just in different areas now.

Wait. This site is about robots, and funny shit, and breaking things. What is it about web logs that make people get so introspective. This is pretty good therapy. Not that I am saying that I have a problem or anything. But I'm not saying that I'm perfect, but sometimes...wait FUCK YOU! nevermind

If you see somebody reading "Choke", its a book, look at them and keep saying "Poodle" until they notice you. If they have reached that point in the book, they will laugh. I have seen two people reading that book on campus so far, I have not yet had the balls to do this. But I will grow them, oh yes, I will grow them.

(ewww)

So I had some fucked up dreams last night.
First I was with my family. We were playing video games. It was weird. I beat my grandma but my little cousin was pretty good.
Then I was in Jamaica. We got caught with illegal substances, and were taken to a weird court. The judge didn't care if we had the substances or not, he just wanted to know if purchasing the substances was a sign of disrespect to his culture.
At some point I walked out of our hotel room and the sky was just a ceiling painted black a few feet above our heads. I sat and talked to Freddy Kuger for a while. It was weird. He wasn't trying to hurt me. He was way to old and tired. He slashed me a few times. I got mad but somebody said "Hey come on man its Freddy, that's his thing, he's famous." Or something to that effect. Basically I was supposed to keep it as a momento of some sorts, like an autograph. I though he was gonna kill me but he just wanted some money to buy a red stripe. Then his head fell off.
Recently in my dreams two people, my parents and Freddy's buddy so far, have told me not to drink the bottom of a beer. I always had because of the manliness issue. Plus its cleaner because you dont leave floaters. Maybe I will try it a few times. Either way im still drinking forties to the last drop.
Then I was back home again. There was snow on the ground and we had a big pile of it in the street next to our driveway. Dave Cariello was trying to tell me it was a lyability(spelled fone-etically) and I was gonna get sued. Then this fireman in a huge jeep blasting music came speeing down the road. He went right into the snow pile. I thought he would totally destroy the pile and prove dave wrong. Instead he spun out of control and crashed into some nearby cars.
Then I was in bed with a laptop, writing the paper that I should be writing right now. That's when I realized I was dreaming, so I started taking adavantage of the lucid dreaming state I had found myself in. So i started thinking what should I do, have sex with a celebrity, fly around the world, travel into deep space. I decided to eat the laptop. For the most part it is was pretty boney and tough. The big wires were pretty tasty and you can suck on them for a while, not to filling though. The keys were pretty fatty on the inside. The memory cards were crunchy and tasted a little like cinnamon. The monitor was all gooey. I didn't bother to taste it. But let me fucking tell you this, the SPEAKERS TASTE LIKE SKITTLES. They are seriously amazing. They literally explode in your mouth with flavor. I you ever find yourself in a lucid dream, I recommend eating speakers. I don't know what a stereo would taste like, but I guess the more speakers the better.

i think it was the wings. The only thing that I had eaten all day were wings and yings from PJ's.

i love to procrastinate

2003-03-04T23:26:00.000-08:00

Stroud's goal in analyzing the strength of Descartes' method of skepticism is to reveal a possible weakness in his argument. Stroud is able to show that underlining Descartes' argument is an assumption about a necessary condition for any general knowledge claim; that if one knows that a proposition p is true then one must also know that all propositions that contradict p must be false. Stroud believes that by arguing against this premise, and in fact only by arguing against this premise, one can show that it is within reason to ignore Descartes' radical philosophical skepticism.
In response to Stroud's argument, Moore would say FUCK what the fuck, I have no idea what he would say. Who the fuck cares? He's dead and he would be wrong anyway. I'm on pills man, I don't need this shit. Here's what Moore would say, 'Good fucking work Stroud, now let's get ripped and try to get some sloe, A-Geh! The world is not a dream, I'm not a brain in a vat, and you're not a robot; Fuckin' sweeeeeeeeeet!!!'
I have another paper to write and i have a test tomorrow. I'm supposed to go to jamaica in less than 50 hours and i dont have a passport and my birth certificate is in the hands of the U.S. Post Office. Shit people! im never gonna make it, fuck
this friday i saw tube's last concert at phi psi
and i just saw the dismemberment plan for the last time
what the fuck is going on
and my internet doesnt work
im stuck in the hac lab where i cant smoke cigarettes and write at the same time
did you know there is a bible in Arabic in the library on D Level
and there are all these other books with absolutely no english
not even the title
i opened on up and flipped through
5 min later i went up to C level
there where 3 security guards roaming around talking about how they were supposed to go down D level
they were after me man
theres some fucked up x files shit going on in there

hahahha check this shit out, what a loser

im going to rofo to get some food

2003-03-03T00:33:00.000-08:00

AAAHAHHAHA I GOT MY INTERNET TO WORK!!!

yall go can... well you know the rest.

Bednarz's Index

Going to a party at 5 AM to find a full keg: Cool
Spending 30 min. at that party pretending your Tom Green and stuffing food in your mouth just to get some girl to laugh: Not Cool
Pledges who carry Camel Lights: Cool
Pledges who carry Camel Filters: Not Cool
Loco Hombre's Flank Steak/Lime Shrimp Burrito: Cool
A Power Hour before a party: As Cool
Loco Hombre's Flank Steak/Lime Shrimp Burrito followed by a Power Hour before a party: Not Cool
Grogan: Cool
Logan: Not Cool
Hogan: Somewhere in between
Burning your arm with a lighter: Hardcore
Burning your arm with a lighter and having the burn come out in the shape of a heart: Emo
Hardcore: Cool
Emo: Not Cool
Lagwagon: Cool
A Beard of Shit: Cool
A Beard of Shame: Not so Cool
Girls: Cool
Girls who give hickeys: Not so cool
Girls who give you so many hickeys that your friends think you were malled by a Wolverine and little children stare at you while you walk down the street: Not Cool
Girls who give you so many hickeys that your friends think you were malled by a Wolverine and little children stare at you while you walk down the street a week before you go to Jamaca: Very not Cool
Getting really wasted and telling off any female you encounter about how pissed off you were that certain Girls gave you so many hickeys and that you never want to see that girl again and all sorts of other bad things: I must admit...Very not Cool
Stabbing your self in the hand with a sharp knife: Not Cool
Stabbing your self in the hand with a sharp knife and then smeering the blood all over your face ala Smack Down: Very Cool
Breaking Bottles over your head: Getting old, but still Cool
Not giving up when the bottle doesn't break: Not Cool
Wrestling: Cool
Wrestling with Gabe: Very Cool
Wrestling with Gabe in the bushes outside of PJ's: Extremly Cool
Wrestling with Gabe and Dave in the bushes outside of PJ's: Ludicrisly Cool
Wrestling with NatDog: Not so Cool
Waking up with a sore neck: Definitely not Cool
3 Days till Jamaca: Cool
3 Days in the library two midterms and two papers before Jamaca: So not Cool
Buying sandles in Jamaca: Not Cool
The Dismemberment Plan: Cool
Dogs who talk shit about dumb commercials: Cool
Dogs who talk shit about their roommates: Not Cool
Web logs: Cool
Web logs with spelling errors: Also Cool
Getting fucked up the ass by a guy: Gay
Getting fucked up the ass by a girl with a strap on as she calls you a bitch and says you like that you like that you little bitch you wish you were a woman and you wish this was a real cock you little bitch: Not Gay, I don't know why, but its not
People who know where that quote comes from: Cool
People who have no idea where that quote comes from and grossly misinterpret why I posted it: Very not Cool
Meat eaters: Cool
Vegans: Also Cool
Vegatarians who eat Dairy: So not Cool
PEOPLE WHO CALL FROM MARTI GRAS WHEN YOUR STUDYING AND RUB IT IN YOUR FACE THAT YOUR STUCK IN SHIT ASS BALTIMORE WHILE 18 HOURS AWAY GIRLS ARE SHOWING THEIR TATTAS AND ALL THEY DO IS LAUGH AT YOU ON THE PHONE AND EVERYONE THERE IS DRUNK AND HAPPY: SO FUCKING NOT COOL, FUCK
Tattas: Cool
calling breasts Tattas: So cool
the internet: cool

I hope yall had as much fun as I did this weekend

2003-02-28T13:09:00.000-08:00

"You're are all a bunch of fucking slaves." Whoa yeah Jim.

You fuckers are gonna believe it now. I got my own blogger.
I dont have the internet. That means I cant get new porn. It also means I cant leave my AIM on all day with funny movie quotes and inspiring song lyrics for you guys to read. So im taking it up a notch, and giving you guys a little something extra. I choose a robot because robots are made of metal and they eat things that are made of metal. I think robots are hella sweet. But please kids, dont forget, when youre in deep space a robot does not make as good a companion as a human.

Let me start with the 2nd funniest quote from the 3rd funniest man from the the 2nd funniest movie ever.
- You see, everyone has their own personal El Guapo which they must face one day. For some, shyness may be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education may be their El Guapo. For us, our El Guapo is a really scary guy who wants to kill us. But I believe that if the people of this town work together, that they can overcome their personal El Guapo's, who in this case happens to be the actual El Guapo.

I BEAT METROID PRIME!!!

I am going to class. I am not going to mardi gras. I am going to Jamaca. I am not going to smoke weed. I am going to trade STD's like they was Pokemon. I am not going to not snort various substances. I am going to do a power hour before the party tonight. I am not going to drive. I am going to puke.